I need to lose weight, go to the gym more, see my friends more than just on Instagram, take up a hobby, pack my lunch every day to work… Sound familiar of the all the resolutions we promise to ourselves at the start of the year?
New Year’s Resolutions are great, don’t get us wrong, they help us set clear goals and review parts of ourselves that need improvement, however they do put a lot of expectation on us to achieve and add elements in our life that just may not be realistic with the ebb and flow of the world. Sometimes we can be our own worst critic and put a lot more pressure on ourselves that is unnecessary.
By having definitive goals this sometimes deregulates our emotions and our expectations.
There are ways we can help improve ourselves without being so harsh by setting broad goals including focusing on the process and not the overall outcome. There can be a lot of progress made during the journey and besides, life is not fixed and does change regularly so having a fixed goal at one point, may not be what you want further down the track.
Here are some ways to help
- Keep your resolutions simple: Life can be challenging enough with extra pressure. Focus on one or two aspects you would like to make change in and put your focus there. By having too many, it sets you up for disappointment and guilt.
- Be realistic: make sure your goals are in line with what is practical for you. Having big goals again may in force the feeling of guilt and pressure to reach for something that is not suited to you. Scale resolutions back if you need and remember progress is progress.
- Treat yourself: It is about the journey, not the result and we need to make sure we are having fun along the way. Remember to be kind to yourself and treat yourself where possible. You are doing great, always.
- Reset: And reassess as often as you need. Our minds changes and so do our life circumstances. You are allowed to change goals and resolutions if you need to suit what is right for you. Remember you always have a choice.
By focusing on a bigger picture and longevity, you are more likely to throw the black and white thinking out of the window and make your goal more achievable it the long run. This also gives a new perspective to be able to see clearly.
Remember being kind to ourselves can take practice, perhaps 2020 is the year to make time for that.